so… 2 questions:
how can i help him feel better?
how can we live more frugally?
i think we should get rid of cable/internet & sell our computers/tv
hubby doesn’t want to b/c “what are we supposed to do with our free time” (btw, this attitude makes me *so* upset)
our internet/ cable are combined (we have to pay $10.00/month for *not-even-basic* cable in order to get the internet)
i’ve cut our grocery bill to $80.00 per wk
i walk most places & don’t drive more than 10miles per wk (if i drive at all…i really don’t want to get rid of our 2nd car b/c i like the security of having it. monthly payments are cheaper than if hubby would drive it everyday to/from work…hubby has a ghetto car that is paid in full, takes *very* little gas & our insurance is *extremely* cheap)
i unplug any appliances/electronics we don’t use (toaster, blender, cell phones, etc)
we don’t have a land-line, only use cellphones. all my family is long distance & this was our solution for me to be able to call them (does anyone have any experience w/ “magic jack”?)
i already shop at thrift stores/goodwill for the girls & haven’t bought anything for myself/hubby in literally 10yrs. *everything* we have is hand-me-down or a gift.
hubby works for his parents as an insuance agent & makes pretty good $, but we have a crap-load of debt.
we got a consolodation loan last yr & refinanced our house the beginning of this yr.
i have the heat off unless it gets too cold, then the thermostat is set to 60 (we live in Fla)
i make my own cleaner…(cheap & easy)
i’ve been making various stews b/c it’s cheap easy & lots of leftovers (plus, perfect weather for it…what’s better than coming from the cold & getting a bowl of hot stew?)
not sure where else to cut back, except cable/internet…if we need to use the internet for some reason, there are 2 libraries just blocks from us and we live 15min from my inlaws (they don’t have internet, but they have cable for movie night)
how can i convince hubby this would be a smart thing to do?
a few people have suggested *i* work. this is not an option *right now*. when the girls are older, i’ll be able to work, but for now i refuse to leave my girls. when they are night-weaned (from nursing), i want to work at night (i used to be a night auditor at a hotel & have plans of resuming that or something similar)
i should make clear…he is not unemployed, he still has his main job. we “make too much” to qualify for any aid. i’m leary of WAHM “opportunities”…how do you know if it’s legit? i *have* been looking, but they just seem too goo to be true…
ronnie: i didn’t make myself clear. the cable is a mandatory additional $10 to the internet bill. the combined bill is around $90.00
our main car is $230/per month
we own the 2nd car, but it’s too small to fit the whole family.
our insurance is only $100.00 and wouldn’t go down much if we got rid of the 2nd car (we get multi car discount, among other discounts)
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wow… long question
it took on a part time job working when my fiance was not at work, i dont make much but its enough to make it worth while. wouldnt be if i had to pay for daycare. now hubby is injured so my MIL watches my son.
i also started babysitting a few days a week. its not a lot of money but it helps out too.
as far as WAHM *opportunities* goes… Melaleuca is a great one. I havent started my ‘business’ yet but I’ve been using the cleaning and bathroom products, they are wonderful! From the other Mom’s I’ve talked to you can make quite a bit of money each month and its worth it to check into.
When I was looking for daycare I saw alot of sahm with ads offering to watch one or two kids for people on craigslist. That might be something you could do especially in this economy you would be charging less then most daycares so you would be able to help someone out with their daycare needs and be able to make a little money.
It sounds like you are doing a lot to try and drive down your costs and that’s good! I think you have the right idea about getting rid of cable and internet. If your husband wants media entertainment, you could always try netflix which is a very cheap way to get your media fix. You could add movies to your netflix account from the library’s computer.
As for WAHM jobs…stay weary of them. There are a few good spots available, but they are few and far between. The one i’ve had the most success with would be mystery shopping. It’s not a ton of money, but it’s still some cash here and there to help out.
If you are nursing then I wouldn’t suggest it, but there are always medical trials going on in bigger areas in which you can earn some extra dough. Perhaps that would be an option for your husband? Or selling blood platelets.
Consignment shops for your used clothes are another way to make a bit of money.
These ideas aren’t going to produce tons of money on their own, but they will help a little.
As for aid qualification, i’m surprised you don’t qualify for WIC. You really have to make quite a bit of money to not qualify for it.
Wow it sounds like you already are making great sacrifices for your family already. My husband also works similar hours to what you described and I understand sometimes you just want him home despite the struggle. You already described so many areas where you can save money. If saving on cable and internet are the only things left and you really need the $ then…I guess they gotta go! Good luck, it sounds like you are really on top of the situation already and very proactive.
Oh to answer your question, to make him feel better, some lovin’ will probably do LOL and to convince him it’s a smart thing to do tell him you will do it on a trial basis
A good way to help him feel better is to always support him even if he is unemployed. Not always reassuring him all the time that you’re there for him, but make it clear you’re there for him no matter what.
A way to live on a budget is always hard. Let me tell you. I used to live on food stamps with my mom and it was bad. Always keep a file with finances and if you can keep a separate account for savings in tough times. Our economy is barely making it’s way back to the top. Invest on some stocks that seem to do well, and try not to buy things you don’t need. Shop for good deals and you’ll be ok.
“i think we should get rid of cable/internet & sell our computers/tv
hubby doesn’t want to b/c “what are we supposed to do with our free time” (btw, this attitude makes me *so* upset)”
There is ‘cut back so you can whittle the bills down’ and then there is ‘make life suck’…
It doesn’t sound like you’re about to starve, and you did ask:
“how can i help him feel better?”
So: maybe give up on the idea of jettisoning the screens for a bit. Old TVs and desktop computers don’t really sell for much. I happily don’t have TV, but I’d have to be pretty damn broke to ditch my internet connexion, and it doesn’t sound like you’re _that_ broke.
One idea would be to take in a child for daycare at your home. You don’t need a license to care for one other child besides your own, and depending on what state you are in, that would bring in about an extra $700/month or so.
As far as living frugally it sure sounds like you are doing a remarkable job. I know I could take some tips from you!
I was absolutely going to suggest magic jack to you even before I read to the part where you mentioned it. We’ve been using it exclusively as our home phone for about 4.5 months and I love it. Since you mentioned it I assume you know you get all your local, long distance, call waiting, caller ID, and voice mail for $20 per YEAR. Of course, you can’t get rid of your internet if you’re going to get it because it works through your internet connection, the one thing we did was upgrade our RAM but we desperately needed to anyway. But if you cancel one of your cell phones you may be able to keep your internet. We no longer have cable, we receive 12 high def channels over the air.
As for legit work at home. This article that was in Womans Day Magazine recently may help you find legitimate leads (be sure to click through all 4 pages for full article):
Other than that I don’t have a ton to offer. Depending on how much his second job was bringing in he may look for another second job or you may have to make other cuts.
ETA: Depending on where you are you should be able to get internet for less than that. See if you live in a Clearwire area, its about $40/month and is wireless (doesn’t require phone or cable line).
Wow..this is just a tough situation.I am so sorry :O( Tough times, indeed. You are already doing a lot of the right things, some really good ideas (I could learn from that!) I will come back and add if I think of anything good…will keep you in thoughts and prayers. Please keep us posted.
***Hugs Honey***
When Andrew was laid off (completely), I just let him go. He knew I was here for him, if he needed me (he did eventually), but I wouldn’t put myself in his firing line.
I just acted nicely to him, when he tried to argue with me, I ignored him. Bare in mind, he may try and become argumentative for awhile, try your hardest to ignore him.
I wouldn’t ask our Hubby for his opinions. If you feel you are doing the right thing, I’d just do it. However, he may bite.
I know your weary of working, but have you thought about taking about getting a job where you could take the girls?
Before I even had kids, I needed another job, only a few hours, just to have a little money for myself (we just bought a house, I was paying off my car & Uni loans)
A Friend owned her own cleaning company, and it was really good. I’d go to 4 houses a week, and clean them. A couple of the ladies would take their children, while they cleaned.
You could always try, an *Ironing* business too, where you iron a basket of someone’s clothing for x amount. In my area, these are actually popular.
Least then you are able to give your Girls you undivided attention.
The WAH opportunities, seem suss to me also (the ones on the net). You could try ringing a few companies in your area, to see if they had WAH opportunities.
Hope things improve Sweets.
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I think $10 a month is very little money for your internet and seems silly losing internet (the most important thing in my opinion, because you can find jobs with it) to save 2 bucks a week.
I am not too sure where you live but when out of work it seems silly to run two cars but it’s up to you.
Also, out of work people don’t eat stews, but pasta and potatoes.You spend $320 a month on groceries and I know a family of 9 that get by on $175 a month, eating pasta, lentils and potatoes. If cooked well I myself prefer those to dead meat but each to their own.
(btw, the internet gives you free pasta and lentils recipes)
Oh no!! I am really truly sorry for his lots!!
I have to quit my job to student teach starting January, and we are going to be broker than broke. I have been researching places that offer aide to needy families. I don’t feel guilty because it’s only temporary.I found a place called Angel Food Ministries.
They have no qualifications to be able to participate and they offer good quality food for very cheap. I tried it out and it was great! You buy a box of food, which is enough to feed a family of 4 for one week’s worth of dinners. It is about $60 worth of food for $30.00. It isn’t leftovers or cheap stuff. Most of it isn’t the real popular brands (but I did get Hawaiian Punch), but it is just as good, pretty much.
For example, January’s menu for 1 box of food ($30):
1.5 lb. Ribeye Steak (4 x 6 oz.)
4 lb. Leg Quarters
1.5 lb. Beef Patties (4 x 6 oz.)
18 oz. Cheese Filled Manicotti
2 lb. Pork Rib Strips
1 lb. Chicken Breast Fajita Strips
1 lb. Ground Turkey
1 lb. Broccoli
1 lb. Peas
6 ct. Oatmeal Variety Box
2 each-Regular, Maple Brown Sugar and Apple Cinnamon
32 oz. 2% Shelf Stable Milk
8 oz. Blueberry Muffin Mix
12 ct. White Corn Tortillas
1 lb. Pinto Beans
7 oz. Chicken Flavored Rice & Vermicelli
One Dozen Eggs
Dessert Item
You will still probably have to buy a little extra for breakfasts and lunches.
I hope it helps. If not, I hope you find the help you are looking for.
Go to the website and find a chapter near you!