My husband and I have been talking about divorce a lot lately. He says that he does not want to pay child support for our 2 year old son unless he has sole custody, I told him that I would not go after him for child support as long as I could have custody or even shared custody. He says that that is not possible because the gov’t will go after him whether I want them to or not. I disagree and think it is between the two parties and if one party wants child support then they open a case. What does the actual law state? We’re in California.
Also, I am a US Citizen, he is a citizen of another country and threatens to take our son to this other country. I am scared because right now I am a some part-time wahm and take care of our son and the home and have no money. He has a good job and also multi-millionaire parents to back him. Would it be possible for him to take my son overseas? What are my rights? Are there any resources that are free for me to use to get more information because I need to know what my rights are in case any of these situations really do come to pass. Please help, I am scared and desparate.
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you guys can decide what your agreement will be between the two of you with an exception, If the custodial parent goes on welfare, once the parent goes on welfare the government then goes after the other parent for reimbursement for what they have paid out
The state of California does not pursue a court order for child support against the none custodial parent unless the custodial parent is recieving governement aide (ie food stamps, cash assistance/welfare, medical, etc).
Regarding the situations with your estranged husband taking your son over seas. This would be a HUGE mistake on his part, here is why……..
The State of California has sole jurisdiction over the child because the residental address of the child is in the state (regardless of dual citizenship of the parents or even of the child the state and county in which the child has primarily resided has jurisdiction) The State of California severely FROWNS upon parents abducting or keeping children from the other parent. ALSO the State of California FROWNS upon parents seperating siblings (if there are more than 1 child).
Because there is no parenting plan (ie custody/child support order) in place there would be no reprocussions for your estranged husband with the State of California. However, they will severly frown on this and it will adversely effect him in court. Also, although the State of California does not have laws against parental abduction or parental kidnapping there is a federal code:
Title 18, Section 1204 of the United States Code makes it a federal crime to remove a child from the United States or retain a child outside the United States with the intent to obstruct a parent’s custodial rights, or to attempt to do so. See 18 U.S.C. ยง 1204. This crime is punishable by up to three years in prison. The law provides a defense where the taking parent acted pursuant to a valid court order obtained under the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction Act, or where the taking parent was fleeing domestic violence, or where the failure to return the child resulted from circumstances beyond the taking parent’s control and the taking parent made reasonable efforts to notify the left behind parent within 24 hours and returned the child as soon as possible.
Regarding your income……..
You can easily apply for temporary maintenance to get yourself the time to gain full time employment. Income isn’t a HUGE consideration so long as you are a good mother and able to support your children. Just because he makes much more doesn’t mean he is a better parent or that the childrens best interest will be served by his income.
I know you want to handle this civially but from the sounds of it this is going to get messy. I have seen these situations MANY times and can see the begining signs of an ugly divorce. GET AN ATTORNEY ASAP!!! If you cannot afford one there are programs for low income and women in the state. Also, the court facilitator can help you in the mean time. NO MATTER WHAT GET AN ATTORNEY. Many people view attorneys as a last resource but to successfully and thoroughly protect your best interests the attorney needs to start from the begining, the sooner the better. They are there because they have the knowledge of the law to protect you, utilize their services!
Personal tip……I have been through a divorce and as much as we would like to be civil with our estranged spouses it HAS to be treated as a business deal. Protect yourself and protect your children’s best interest. He may be a great guy with the best intentions and LOVE his child/children but the bottom line is people do irrational things and their character is tested during divorce……protect yourself get an attorney and keep it strictly business NOTE and DOCUMENT EVERYTHING!!!
I’ve been dealing with child support courts for years(I’m a dad)and one thing I’ve learned is the courts side with the mother in most cases.Since your husband is a “jerk”,file for custody first.Since your married,you can fight to keep your kids in the U.S. and have a good chance of winning.The parent that has the child receives child support and if you have been married long enough,alimony.Don’t know what city you are in but you can start with yellow pages and find a lawyer who does free consultations.you may have to talk to a few but it will be worth it.also,where I live we have Mc George School of law,you can usually find a student to help with paper work,questions….Also,the D.A.s in your local Family Court will probably be very helpful.When you talk to the lawyers,make it known you are shopping around,they are lawyers after all.Remember,moms rule.fight back and good luck!
The other answers are good but, there is one thing you had better make sure of now, and that is to safe guard your son. He is an American Citizen – right? He was born in this country, doesn’t matter what Nationality his father is. Believe me, if and when you commence with this divorce, he will probably try to leave the USA with the child! It sounds to me, he wants his cake, and eat it too!
I know, from your question, money is a problem, but you must make the effort to get some legal advice. Especially for your son. If HE and his parents have money, they will get the best attorney money can buy. It sounds like he keeps a tight rein on the money when it comes to you working and keeping house. I would hold off getting a divorce for a while, and put a little money aside when he give you an allowance. Don’t be telling him what you are doing. Just do it. If you have a relative, or someone you can go to if things get bad. Make arrangement with the person just in case you have to leave in a hurry. But, he is right when he says the courts will make him pay child support whether he likes it or not, BUT, it doesn’t mean he is going to pay it! That’s the time he will leave the country AND with your son if you are not careful! Once he and the child are out of the country, it’s practically impossible to get the child back! Don’t let him see you are scared, and try NOT to bring the subject of divorce up to him. Make your own plans. You really need a good attorney.